"Welcome to Holland"
By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Couldn't Have Said It Better!
Posted by Linzie at 3:54 PM
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5 comments:
Look at all the clear pictures you're getting. Gotta love the camera...and the picture takerÜ No wonder I haven't heard from you in forever. Had no clue what was going on over there. Will for sure be calling you in the next few days. Miss you, Love ya..
Wonderfully put.
This brought tears to my eyes. But I love it, and it's so peaceful.
-Amy
Bry's aunt had two little girls with a blood disorder, one who passed away and one still living with it after two bone marrow transplants. She was given this story when they were diagnosed. Recently I had a friend whose little boy was diagnosed with a rare disorder and has tumors on his brain and heart so I gave it to her. Never fails to bring tears to my eyes, you mom's are simply amazing to me!
It made me cry, especially after seeing how beautiful Holland is...(Liam's picture). As hard as it is for me to say this because I cannot empathized with you, I envy you. I am not as strong as you and your family are and I wish I was.
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